It’s just funny when people find interests at first, but then disappears later. They don’t care, as if I’d believe what they say. It’s so frustrating. Like people you trust wholeheartedly and then act sooner or later as if you’re a stranger to them. I don’t know for some people because every story is different, like mine.
I was born introvert, plus I’m hearing-impaired. You get that, I don’t mingle with people easily unless if I knew them. But that’s not really the case. Sometimes, I’m always the one who started the conversation, minutes later, end of conversation. It’s like there’s a bomb ticking for just a short time. I now realized they really played their part well.
Talking about introvert, there’s always one thing that people don’t understand about me. They think I’m a loner just because I’m always alone. They think that I should mingle with people just because they saw me isolated. They said that I looked angry or some-kind-of-disappointed-face, but sorry that’s how my face was created (Resting Bitch Face). They ask if I’m okay but truth is I am hearing-impaired! Hearing-impaired dude! This means I am always shutting my mouth because I don’t hear a damn word from you! So don’t always assume that I hear your words well. I always wanted to run away from those damn people.
If you are reading this means you’re implying that I have fewer friends. I do have many (fake) friends but only a few I know are good. From what I realized, fewer friends are better than many friends. After 14 years of stay in school, I never have closed friends or best friend. I mean, I never have anyone to talk to, so I’m always alone. They only knew me as a classmate, but not as a friend (maybe some). They always knew me when they need something from me.
I don’t know how many nights I cried because of this. Realizing in the end that I have no one (except for my family). I’m not depressed. Most of the people around me are fake. They only know how to play their “good” side. They will always forget about me. If I’d die someday, I don’t care who will be crying in front of my coffin. To the readers, you can call me insecure/ jealous/ etc. but that’s my only experience I share. I don’t know how you will react with this, but I’ll ask you, Imagine if you’re in my situation, how would you feel?
To the people who know me, you know if you’re in this story or not.